You have experienced the most excruciating loss. Loss of a pregnancy or baby never makes sense to the heart. Even if there are medical or scientific explanations, a part of it never makes sense, which is why it can be so agonizing. The complexities of such losses can also make them heavy and lonely. With my clients, I often see and talk about the three aspects of this grief: the loss, the longing, and feeling lost. Your grief may start with the loss of the child and the loss of the future you had planned. You might also feel longing for connection to the child, arms aching to hold them, yearning to keep them real and close in any way, grasping to not let them go. You may feel lost, caught in a space where you are unsure of your identity. Are you a parent? Are you a mother? You may also feel lost in your own community, as others may feel too distant, scared, or uncomfortable with your loss. You may feel lost as though the world moved on around you while you experienced this deeply sad truth that has forever changed your story, and without a baby to hold.

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I cannot know exactly how you feel, as your loss is unique to you, but with my personal and professional experiences, I will hold space for you to discover these feelings with empathy, calmness, and strength.  I have supported many families and mothers at all stages of these losses, from being the gentle bearer of the sad news to healing support years later.  I hope that with our time together, your grief and mourning are expressed in a manner that feels safe and genuine to you.  Together, we can look for ways to help your loss become integrated into your life story where it is tenderly held and honoured while taking steps to embrace life again.

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